You will be missed ...

I had a blog planned for today - but I just can't do it now. I found out a couple hours ago that my grandmother passed away.

My father is not the best father and I have not had much contact with him, but my grandmother (his mother) has always made me feel a part of that family. She is - was a wonderful sweet woman. She was so much fun and I remember being so silly with her. I remember her visiting my mom and I when I was really young - like5 or 6 - we went to a outdoor concert with my mom and my other grandmother and afterwards went to Friendly's. I remember her looking at the menu and saying, "Just something little, I'm on a diet." Then the waitress came and she pointed to this huge Sundae another lady was eating and said "I want that one!" We laughed and laughed and I remember it being one of the first times that I "got" grown-up joke and was in on it.

She was one of the happiest women you could ever meet and I wish I could have spent more time with her. We've always lived several states away from each other, but letters and packages would come every few months. Her handwriting was always SO hard to read and my mom and I would sit and decipher it and it became a bit of a joke, but one I loved to do. As I got older she and I became worse at calling each other, but every time we would laugh about how bad we both were and how much we loved each other. The last time we saw each other was November 2006 when The Girl was 5 months old. She loved getting to meet her first great-grandchild.

Ma, me and The Girl - we had just gotten there

Pappy, Ma and The Girl

I hate that she never got to meet Little Man, but I'm so glad I didn't put off sending her a stack of pictures after Christmas. I'm so glad I was able to call her a few weeks ago. She was in pain and really couldn't talk, but I was able to tell her how much I loved and appreciated her. If Little Man had been a girl Daddy and I had planned on naming her after Ma and I was able to tell her that we still plan on it. I've been crying most of the afternoon - but I've been trying to hold back as much as I can so I don't upset the kids. I keep remembering the fun we had - after we moved down to North Carolina they came down to visit and we took them to Dollywood. Ma was SO excited. She kept saying, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I'm in Dollywood! Oh my gosh!!" It was hilarious.

I will always miss her ...