Bittersweet Day

Today my Little Man turns 2 years old. His birthdays have been difficult so far for us. We have the joy of celebrating the most wonderful little boy I have ever met - but remembering the day of his birth is hard. That day holds some of the worst days memories for Unlabeled Daddy and myself. Our wonderful son was born at 3:33 in the afternoon gray and unresponsive. If you are familiar with the APGAR scale (a perfect baby, i.e. crying, pink etc is 10) he was born a 1. His heart was beating and that was it. They intubated him and worked on him for over an hour while I was across the room trying to figure out if my baby was okay or even alive. My poor husband was told to touch him and talk to him and he says the first time he laid his hands on him our Little Man just wasn't there. He felt him start breathing as he begged and coaxed him to life. I remember hearing Daddy crying as he told him how much we loved him over and over. Once he started breathing he wouldn't stay breathing without help so they called for a helicopter to airlift him to the nearest NICU (an hour drive away). Watching my newborn son being put in an incubator and wheeled away from me was one of the hardest things I've gone through. They discharged me right away so Daddy and I could follow him and Little Man and I spent 6 days in the NICU (well, I slept in the tiny sleep room they provided me) but I got to hold him nearly all day for his first week and I appreciated every moment of it. Now he's a perfect, defiant, mischievous, loving, cuddly, active little boy and we are so blessed! I hope as he gets older his birthdays won't always be overshadowed by his birth - but I will tell you this - we hug him very tight and appreciate every moment we have with him.

My silly Birthday Boy with his new Buzz Lightyear from Mama and Daddy!